Beauty and Insecurity

Do you have any insecurity? I do. In fact, I have quite a few of it.

The way we were brought up in certain environment and in certain culture plays a role in our lives. When I was little, kids in the school often make fun of me – my name, my slanted small eyes. They would give me nicknames and sang a song about it. People always have something to comment about my appearance. It scarred my confidence and self-esteem so much that I do not even realized it. I do not believe that I am beautiful, I am ugly.

Not very often, someone would compliment me, even if they do, I questioned their honesty. “Maybe, maybe he/she is just trying to make me happy by saying that, I believe it is not true at all” – a voice in my head. Honest and sincere compliments become overwhelming to me. So much I want to believe in it and yet self-doubting about it.

I am also insecure about falling in love again. Fear. The fear of becoming too emotionally attached to someone and losing him again. Part of me wanted to love and to be loved; however, another part of me is pushing it away to protect myself from ordeal. Like a small kid that tasted the blackest coffee and never want to have another sip of it.

Insecurity could come in many forms. All we have to do is to learn how to deal or get rid of it.

It is not easy, in fact, it is never easy but it is worth a try for a happier you.


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